Robot Unicorn Attack Prequel

EDIT: If you are the hundredth person to fave this piece, you win a free picture.

I don't know what any of this is, except cute. A friend said I only like Robot Unicorn Attack because it was like Lisa Frank's stuff, but I thought it should be cuter. [Truthfully, I'm in it for the dolphins.]

And then as I was sketching, I started making up a story as to WHY Unicorn has to smash stars and fairies.

Once upon a time, when the world was new and the stars still hung suspended in the sky by gossamer strands of silk, a unicorn was built.

And its name was Robot Unicorn. Robot Unicorn was new and shiny, and generally content with its life.

Unicorn’s best friend was Dolphin, a similarly constructed robot dolphin. Together they pranced and danced along the purple grassy plains and pure blue oceans of their world enjoying their robotic lives.

And for the first time in the robotic landscape, there was ‘emotion’. Dolphin cared for Unicorn as Unicorn cared for Dolphin, although since neither had genitalia and there was no internet, it never occurred to them take their relationship to the next level. But despite the lack of sex, they lived happily – the first of their kind to ever be happy, although they didn’t know that.

But the Robot Fairies, specifically Robot Fairy 1224, were jealous of the seeming happiness of the pair, and plotted to destroy this disgusting new thing called ‘emotion.’ The fairies sent in a secret agent to get close to the pair and try to break them apart from the inside, but once the fairy experienced the happy glow of their friendship, it too fell prey to ‘emotion’ and refused to complete its mission.

The Robot Fairy council planned again. Since they were too small to launch any sort of effective attack, they would have to make use of their environment to destroy the pair. Grass was useless, and the rocks were too heavy for the tiny fairies, robots though they were, to push.

That left the stars. The beautiful stars, held to the heavens by a single thread. Surely if a star crashed down upon the pair, they would be smashed to smithereens and the world could return to its emotionless state of stability.

And so the plot was carried out, one sunny day, and the thread of the star was cut as Unicorn and Dolphin played below. It plummeted to the earth with disturbing speed, since it too was made of metal.

But the fairy agent, its wires filled with something akin to love, shoved Unicorn and Dolphin out of the way. The star crushed the tiny fairy instead.

Dolphin and Unicorn nuzzled the smoking remains in vain, trying to cobble their friend back together. All efforts failed.

Vaguely annoyed by their failed attempt, the fairies cut more and more stars, furious when Dolphin and Unicorn simply dodged them.

As more and more stars fell, the balance of the world shifted in ways unforeseen by the fairy council. The land grew light and began to float, as the seas grew smaller and fell further and further away, until the land was a series of disconnected cliffs, dotted by abandoned stars.

No more could Dolphin and Unicorn play. No more was their circuitry filled with joy. Dolphin, unbeknownst to Unicorn, was safe in the water far below, but Unicorn had been trapped by a circle of dropped stars on a tiny bit of cliff.

Resigned to its lonely fate, Unicorn waited for the fairies to cut the next string. Then it heard the squeals of Dolphin, calling out to it from the water below. Dolphin was alive!

Given the pattern of falling stars, it was only a matter of time until the fairies managed to hit Dolphin, even in the water. Unicorn had to act.

It raced across the tiny space, ramming itself into a star, which exploded in the wake of robotic unicorn force. A fairy nearby was watching in what looked to be shock. Unicorn ran it through, delighting in its scream of terror.

Shaking the remnants of fairy off its horn, Unicorn raced off along the landscape, determined to destroy the stars and the fairies and bring the land back to its normal state so that it and Dolphin could once again be together.

But destroying stars on land doesn't replace them in the heavens! And killing all the fairies will unbalance the robot ecosystem! Who can possibly save the land of Robot Unicorn?